Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Just In - Grandma Millie to be Bush's Running Mate

How's this for a grand scheme of Ocean's Eleven proportions? We here at ASZ propose to cast Grandma Millie as George Bush's running mate this fall. Cheney may be on the ticket, but he's a piker. Grandma Millie is simply the best icon anyone could possibly dream up to emphasize the Bush administration's total disregard for average Americans at the expense of corporate raiders and profiteers. We don't want to let the little old lady out of the spotlight for the next 5 months.

Need a refresher on Grandma Millie? Here's the background:

"While the president would like to have an energy bill, I'd like to have an energy bill that protects consumers," said Cantwell.

Consumers like Grandma Millie, mentioned in one exchange recorded between two Enron employees:

Employee 1: "All the money you guys stole from those poor grandmothers in California?

Employee 2: "Yeah, Grandma Millie man.

Employee 1: "Yeah, now she wants her fucking money back for all the power you've charged right up, jammed right up her ass for fucking $250 a megawatt hour."
Yep, we've got some ideas on this one. It'll be an ASZ campaign - starting in September. We do not want the American people to forget the nice old lady, the corporate thieves who picked her pocket, and the enablers in the White House who stood by and let it happen. Because the guy who was doing the jamming was the biggest single contributor to George W. Bush's 2000 selection.

More to come on this in the very near future. We encourage our snappy readers to come up with a great, catchy title for the ASZ campaign, and even (gasp!) a "spokesperson". Yes, we need a real-life Grandma Millie. We'll do our best to get every progressive in Left Blogistan onboard with the campaign to link Dubya and Grandma Millie at the hip from September to November. So, leave us a comment below or drop us an email with your ideas.

Speaking of Enron, this crossed the wire an hour or so ago - Ken Lay has been indicted!

HOUSTON - The three-year investigation of Enron Corp.'s scandalous collapse has reached the top of the energy company, with the criminal indictment of founder and former chief executive Kenneth Lay, sources told The Associated Press on Wednesday.

Lay, who has insisted he knew nothing of the financial fraud at Enron, was expected to surrender to federal authorities Thursday, said the sources who spoke on condition of anonymity.

The specific charges remained under seal. Prosecutors from the Justice Department (news - web sites)'s Enron Task Force presented an indictment to U.S. Magistrate Judge Mary Milloy in Houston on Wednesday, and at their request she sealed both the indictment and an arrest warrant, the sources said.

A hearing before Milloy was scheduled for late Thursday morning.
"Milloy"? "Millie"? Coincidence? We think not.

Yes, it's going to be a fun fall. We can hardly wait! And neither can Grandma Millie.


Update: Lay's Perp Walk


Bonus for reading this far! Here's a video of Ken Lay discussing his support of George W. Bush.