Tuesday, February 01, 2005

There's Something About Big Dog...

I'm not sure I'll ever quite understand why Bill Clinton sends the fundie neocon crowd into an absolute lather. Maybe it's because he had the balls to stand up to their witch hunt that started the moment he took office in 1993. Even to this day, it amazes me that Clinton was able to accomplish as much as he did during his time in office, given the "Contract On America" that Newt Gingrich authorized in 1994.

The craziest thing about the entire Clinton legacy is that he was not a traditional Democrat. In fact, it could be argued that his politics were closer to that of a Reagan Republican than a Roosevelt (or Kennedy / Johnson) Democrat. Still, it has to drive the neocons absolutely batshit that even with the well orchestrated personal smear campaigns against the Clintons in the 1990s that he left office with over a 60% approval rating.

George Bush could only dream of such lofty acknowledgement of his accomplishments in office.

So, it struck me as rather humorous this evening when I read the following story:

CHARLOTTE, N.C - They may both be out of office, but Bill Clinton remains the ultimate boogeyman for former Sen. Jesse Helms.

In a fund-raising a letter for his senatorial library, Helms invokes the specter of the former president leading the United Nations after Kofi Annan retires next year.

"I'm sure you might agree that putting a left-wing, undisciplined and ethically challenged former President of the United States into a position of such power would be a tragic mistake," wrote the 83-year-old Republican, who left office in 2003 after five terms...

Au contraire, Jesse.

Though I've never given it a second thought until this evening, I think Bill Clinton would be the ideal candidate - and I do mean ideal - to serve as Secretary General of the United Nations. He's respected around the world. He understands, probably better than anyone who could fill the position, the challenges facing Kate's "Happy Planet" in the next 20 years. His experience as President would be unparalleled in a front man role at the U.N.

Here's what scares the beejeezus out of Jesse and the neocons (and tickles the shit out of me): William Jefferson Clinton would not only be representing the U.S. in such a role, but leading the world. Helms and his ilk can already picture Bill Clinton as Leo DeCaprio on the bow of the Titanic, arms outstretched, screaming "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD".


Seriously, I would see such a move as absolutely integral to repairing the image of the United States in the rest of the world. Clinton would lend a legitimacy to the UN that it may never otherwise reach. So, yeah. I could get behind such a movement. In fact, I'd be willing to lead the damn parade, despite whatever political differences I might have with Big Dog.

And if such a move caused Jesse Helms to collapse in a fit of bigoted, stars-and-bars induced neocon seizures, well, that's just a bonus that would be priceless beyond words.