Wednesday, February 23, 2005

DHS To Hire Reporters

Newly unemployed JeffyJamesJim D. GannonGuckert may have the experience necessary to apply for this job:
The Bush administration is hiring more reporters. Only this time, it wants them to keep quiet.

The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) last week placed a help-wanted listing on, an employment website. The department sought reporters to participate in TOPOFF 3, a biennial exercise directed by Congress that simulates a terrorist attack on the United States.

Ok, so maybe Jeff wouldn't be a good pick, seems he's having a hard time keeping quiet. Ooooo, he kept a journal. Do tell. Yep, good ol' Jeff maybe having money problems - or is looking to cash in on his 15 minutes, it seems he's selling a couple of his domain names.

Back to the point, Homeland Security is looking to hire reporters to cover TOPOFF 3. Rest assured this is nothing like paying pundits, hiring actors to read a script, or having the house ho ask questions. Naaawww, nothing like that at all, it actually sounds worse:

But DHS spokesman Marc Short said the department’s job posting is “nothing like” the earlier controversies. Instead of acting as advocates, the reporters would be prohibited from relaying the results of the exercise outside of the “virtual news network” that is part of the training exercise.

“You must NOT be currently employed by a real news organization and will be required to sign a nondisclosure agreement barring you from writing about this in the future,” the job posting stated.

Short said the department wanted to hire reporters to help department officials better understand how the media would respond to a weapon-of-mass-destruction attack.

I'll let you decide for yourselves just what these clowns are up to. My aluminum chapeau needs a slight readjustment.