ASZ has always had a tradition of posting lyrics when all other explanation fails, so, when in doubt, turn to Tom Waits:
CHOCOLATE JESUS
Don’t go to church on sunday
Don’t get on my knees to pray
Don’t memorize the books of the bible
I got my own special way
Bit I know jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more
I fall on my knees every sunday
At zerelda lee’s candy store
Well it’s got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied
Well I don’t want no anna zabba
Don’t want no almond joy
There ain’t nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well it’s the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate jesus
Can satisfy my soul
(solo)
When the weather gets rough
And it’s whiskey in the shade
It’s best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But that’s ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait
Well it’s got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me
Well it’s got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied
The hat tip goes to "A Small Victory."
And for those who want the real scoop on how Fundamentalists interpret the bible, check out Slacktivist, who has it nailed.
