Living Will - Talisman Against "The Culture of Life Cult"

Bill's Will

ITEM ONE: I, William E. Cope, being of sound enough mind to know a political stunt when I see one, declare herein that I do not want to be kept alive by any artificial means whatsoever should my brain stop functioning on a level high enough to appreciate the difference between an authentic need for Congressional intervention and meddlesome pandering by sanctimonious huff and puffers out to impress their hillbilly base constituency. This does not mean that first thing in the morning, when I generally exhibit an unresponsive condition which I freely admit could be mistaken for some sort of cerebral flatlinery, that I would turn down a cup of coffee.

But, if by the time I have been out of bed for ... say ... half an hour, and you hear me saying something like, "That Tom DeLay feller has a good point," throw a pillow on my face and sit on it. And don't get to feeling guilty later, because the minute I start sympathizing with an ethically-dead goon like DeLay on anything, I'm too far-gone for regrets.