Friday, May 07, 2004

I'm checking out of here for a few days

Ah, Cleveland, city of light, city of magic. . .

But I'll be back Tuesday night and rearing to go. Before I go, a little humor from Andy Borowitz, who can be found here: Borowitz Report

Prez Notches over 10,000 ‘I’m Sorry’-free Days

President Bush celebrated a major milestone today as the The Guinness Book of World Records announced that he had set the world record for consecutive days without making an apology of any kind.

Mr. Bush’s world record, set during an appearance on the Arabic-language Al Arabia television network today, stands at 10,043 apology-free days, according to Guinness spokesman Ian Lakely.

“With this record, President Bush has certainly raised the bar for remorselessness,” Mr. Lakely said. “There’s no one even in shouting distance of him.”

According to the Guinness experts, the last documented apology by Mr. Bush occurred in the 1970’s during a golf game with longtime golfing buddy Charles “Whiffy” Wiffington.

“I caught him moving his ball closer to the cup and he sort of mumbled, ‘Sorry’ under his breath,” Mr. Wiffington said. “I guess that counts.”

While many in the Arab world had hoped that Mr. Bush might use his appearance on Al Arabia to offer an apology for the abuse of prisoners at Iraq’s Abu Ghraib prison, the President, mindful that his world record was at stake, stopped short of doing so.

In defending Mr. Bush’s actions, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said, “The President has made it his policy not to apologize for refusing to apologize.”

In other news, the finale of “Friends” is expected to be a huge ratings winner in Iraq, where millions of Iraqis are longing for the chance to say goodbye to some Americans.

Elsewhere, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said there would be a total overhaul of procedures at Iraq’s prisons, including the elimination of “rush week.”

The guy just cracks me up, and somehow, there's always a spark of truth more insightful than the typical NT Times Editorial page..

See you really soon, and don't forget to floss!