But after five minutes of chuckling, I can't.
Certain Higher Terror Threat To U.S., Says Washington; Threat Level Raised From Yellow To "Yellower"
Today the Department of Homeland Security warned of a much higher risk of a terrorist attack over the coming months, which prompted them to raise the threat level from Yellow ("Elevated") to Yellow ("Still Elevated"). "The threat level remains fundamentally the same," said Tom Ridge, "Except that it is definitely, certainly much threatier."
And it gets even better from there...
(Don't depose me! Props to Lawgeekgurl for the pointer.)