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From the "You can Dress Me Up..." File

I have an idea for a new law. No entertainer outside of Branson, Missouri should be permitted to close their show with the Lee Greenwood song, "God Bless the USA".

One night last week, I thoroughly embarassed my lovely wife when, at the end of his set, our entertainer for the evening started belting out a cover of the most jingoistic, smarmy, beer-drinking, NASCAR-dad inspiring song ever written. Never mind the political implications of the song: I thought it was completely inappropriate for the singer to get into nationalistic bombast when his stage was outside of the U.S., and the audience (while predominantly American) had a significant contingent of foreign nationals. I also thought it was a really cheap ploy to get applause at the end of a lackluster performance.

So I didn't stand up and sing and clap along with 95% of the crowd. Fortunately, I wasn't alone in my crappy little protest, as a few others weren't taking the bait either. The fact that they had canes and walkers makes no difference.

Later on, I overheard my wife telling people that I was a drunk Frenchman. She was only half right.